Letters for Living #56
Helping you move from surviving to living with purpose.
As-salaamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh, dear beautiful soul,
Bismillah.
There is a verse in the Qur'an that has been on my mind:
“Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves.”
Qur'an 13:11
The more I sit with these words, the more I see the responsibility within them.
We all want change.
We want more peace. We want healthier relationships. We want to feel differently. We want our circumstances to improve. We make du'a for the things we want to see change, and of course, Allah has the power to change anything in an instant.
But our focus can become so fixed on what needs to change around us that we forget to look at what needs to change within us.
And that is where the real work begins.
We cannot continue responding to life in the same way and expect our experience of life to be completely different.
Yet this is something we do repeatedly.
We remain in familiar environments because they feel safe. We repeat habits that we know aren't serving us. We respond from the same fears. We continue relationships in the same patterns. We say yes when we want to say no. We keep allowing things that leave us resentful, depleted or unhappy.
Then we wonder why nothing changes.
The Familiar Isn't Always Better
One of the hardest parts of change is stepping away from what we already know.
The familiar can feel safer than the unknown, even when the familiar is painful.
But comfort and peace are not the same thing.
Something can be comfortable because you've become accustomed to it, while at the same time keeping you stuck.
Growth requires us to become willing to do something differently.
That might mean setting a boundary you've been avoiding.
Having a difficult conversation.
Leaving an environment that is no longer healthy for you.
Taking responsibility for your own behaviour.
Or recognising that you have contributed to a pattern that you've spent years blaming on someone else.
That level of honesty isn't easy.
But it is freeing.
Awareness Has to Lead Somewhere
This is something I've become increasingly passionate about through my own work.
I believe deeply in emotional healing. Understanding our wounds, our patterns, our fears and the experiences that shaped us is important.
But awareness cannot be the end point.
We can spend years learning about ourselves, understanding our childhood, identifying our triggers and gathering information about personal growth, yet still live in exactly the same way.
At some point, what we know has to become what we do.
And what we repeatedly do eventually becomes who we are.
That is where transformation begins.
Not in knowing more.
But in choosing differently.
One Honest Decision
You don't need to change your entire life today.
Start with one thing you already know needs to change.
One habit.
One boundary.
One decision.
One action that moves you towards the life you keep saying you want.
Because the change you're asking Allah for also requires your participation.
You take the step.
You make the effort.
You do the work.
And you leave the outcome with Allah.
That is where intention meets action.
A Closing Reflection
Rumi wrote:
“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”
There is so much wisdom in that.
We spend enormous amounts of energy wanting other people to change, wanting circumstances to change, wanting the world to change.
But imagine what becomes possible when you turn that attention towards yourself.
When you take responsibility for your growth.
When you stop waiting for perfect circumstances and begin working with the circumstances you have.
Change begins with a decision.
And then another.
And another.
Until one day you look back and realise that the life you were waiting for didn't arrive all at once.
You built it through the choices you were willing to make.
With sincerity and du'a,
Nazia