Letters for Living #53
Helping you move from surviving to living with purpose.
Assalamualaykum . Dear Beautiful Soul
Bismillah.
This week, I came across a hadith that made me pause and reflect.
It's a hadith narrated in Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim, where it is said that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ was never asked for something and replied with "no."
When I first read it, my mind immediately went to something I hear so often, especially from women.
"But aren't we supposed to always be available for people?"
"If I'm setting boundaries, am I not going against the Sunnah?"
It's such an important question because, on the surface, it can seem like generosity and boundaries contradict one another.
But the more I reflected on the life of the Prophet ﷺ, the more I realised they don't contradict each other at all.
In fact, they complement each other beautifully.
The Prophet ﷺ was incredibly generous, but he wasn't boundaryless.
He gave from a place of strength, sincerity, and trust in Allah.
Not from guilt.
Not from fear of disappointing people.
Not because he needed to prove his worth.
And I think that's a distinction many of us miss.
Because sometimes what looks like kindness... isn't kindness at all.
Sometimes it's fear.
Fear of rejection.
Fear of conflict.
Fear that people won't like us if we say no.
Fear that our value lies in how much we can give.
So we keep saying "yes."
We keep giving.
We keep showing up.
Until one day we realise we've slowly disappeared from our own lives.
One sentence has stayed with me throughout this reflection:
The Prophet ﷺ had an open heart, but not an unguarded life.
What a beautiful way to understand boundaries.
Boundaries are not walls.
They are not about pushing people away.
They are not about becoming hard or distant.
Healthy boundaries simply allow us to give from a full heart instead of an empty one.
The Prophet ﷺ also withdrew for worship. He protected time with his family. He corrected people with wisdom when they crossed limits. He never compromised on what Allah had commanded, even when immense pressure was placed upon him.
His life was one of balance.
Generous...
Yet grounded.
Compassionate...
Yet clear.
Loving...
Yet deeply anchored in his purpose.
I think many of us have confused people-pleasing with kindness.
They're not the same thing.
People-pleasing usually asks,
"What do I need to do so that everyone is happy with me?"
Love asks,
"What is the most sincere, wise and compassionate response in this moment?"
One comes from fear.
The other comes from peace.
And when you really think about it, this is true in every area of our lives.
We cannot become the women we hope to be if every decision is driven by fear.
Fear of disappointing others.
Fear of being misunderstood.
Fear of not being enough.
Because fear keeps us reacting.
Peace allows us to choose.
This is one of the reasons I'm so passionate about creating spaces where women don't just learn beautiful concepts... but begin living them.
Whether it's through Safe to Trust, my workshops, or our one-on-one sessions, my heart has never simply been to share information.
It's to help women become the kind of women who can live these principles with calmness, confidence, and trust.
Not perfectly.
But intentionally.
Because the goal isn't simply to know what to do.
It's to become the woman for whom those choices begin to feel natural.
If you've been feeling called to grow in this area, I'd love to invite you to explore Safe to Trust.
It's a self-paced course designed to help you understand why trusting Allah can sometimes feel difficult, how fear quietly shapes our choices, and how we can begin creating an inner sense of safety that allows trust to become something we live—not just something we know.
You can find it here:
https://nazia1.gumroad.com/l/Safetotrust
You can also explore my one-on-one sessions, workshops, and other resources by visiting:
A Closing Reflection
Perhaps boundaries are not about learning to say "no."
Perhaps they're about learning to say "yes" for the right reasons.
To give because your heart is open.
Not because your fear is speaking.
To love without abandoning yourself.
To serve without losing yourself.
To live with an open heart...
but not an unguarded life.
And perhaps that is one of the most beautiful forms of freedom.
With sincerity and du'a,
Nazia