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When Silence Becomes Survival — And Why We Can No Longer Accept It 

 

Nazia Saley

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Soulful Serenity Newsletter No. 29

Assalamualaykum, Dear Beautiful Soul

Bismillah,

A Movement We Can’t Ignore

By now, many of you would’ve seen the Purple Profiles Movement circulating across South Africa, a call to stand together against gender-based violence, with a nationwide standstill planned for Friday, 21 November.

If you follow me on Instagram, you would’ve noticed how loudly and consistently I’ve been speaking about this, too. And I want to tell you why.

In the work I do, the one thing that breaks my heart the most and deeply fuels my passion is how common abuse is. Not only the physical kind. Often, it is the emotional, psychological, spiritual, and sexual wounds that remain hidden, dismissed, or normalised.

And what still shocks me, even after years of doing this healing work, is how many women don’t even realise they’re being abused. They genuinely believe:

“This is just what a woman’s life is.”
“You have to survive it.”
“Sabr means silence.”

That conditioning becomes inherited suffering.

The Stories We Absorb Without Realising

I once overheard an elderly woman in a salon casually speak about her husband hitting her, as if it were a completely normal, expected part of marriage. There was no tremble in her voice. No pause. No awareness that something was deeply wrong.

And incidents like this aren’t isolated.

I once watched a video where this lady described being somewhere listening to women speak about their life conditions, resigning to the idea that this is what Islam expects from you as a woman. This woman was shocked, and she, being an alima responded

“Learn your deen. Educate yourself. This is not what Islam asks of you.

That truth is powerful.
Because so many of us grew up hearing statements that quietly shaped our beliefs:

“Don’t marry a learned girl, she won’t cook for you.”
“Women who study too much become too big for their boots.”
“No matter what you do, you’ll still end up in the kitchen.”

These messages were not only spoken by men, but repeated by women too. And the implied message was always the same:

A woman should stay small.
Stay quiet.
Stay useful

When Women Forget Who They Are

Over the years, I’ve worked with countless women who can’t answer the simplest question:

“What’s your favourite food?”
“What colour brings you joy?”

They hesitate. They look confused. They answer with:

“Well, my husband likes this…”
“My children enjoy that…”
“My family prefers…”

And while there’s nothing wrong with caring for your family, the real tragedy is this:

Many women don’t know themselves.
Not who they are.
Not what they love.
Not what they dream of.

If you don’t know who you are, how do you love who you are?
And how do you connect to the One who created you with intention, purpose, and dignity?

This disconnection is one of the silent wounds I see every day: women living but not alive, breathing but not present, serving, but resentful
Alive but not living

You Are More Than Your Roles

This is why I created The Vision Within Workshop, not because it’s another class or a feel-good event, but because women desperately need spaces where they can reconnect with themselves outside of the roles they’ve been boxed into.

Yes, roles in life are important.
Yes, cooking, cleaning, and household tasks are life skills for both men and women.
Yes, Islam acknowledges different responsibilities.

But roles are not purpose.
Roles will shift. Life will change.

Children grow up.
Marriages evolve.
And sometimes life takes turns we never expected loss, separation, betrayal, and change.

If your entire identity is tied to one role, you break the moment that role is challenged.

You are meant for more.
You were born on purpose, for a purpose.
And that purpose is far deeper than what you do , it is rooted in who you are.

The Vision Within Workshop, A Call Back to Yourself

This live, interactive online workshop is an invitation to reconnect with:

  • the woman you’ve forgotten
  • the purpose you once felt
  • the dreams you buried
  • the Divine light Allah placed in your heart

If you are ready to do this work, send me a message to secure your seat, https://wa.me/27765715382


Investing in Yourself Matters, and It Has to Be Accessible

As women, it’s important that we invest in ourselves to learn, to grow, and to understand the emotional and psychological patterns that shape our lives. And I’ve made sure there are different ways for you to do that, depending on what you need and what season you’re in.

One of the most accessible ways is through my digital workshops and self-paced courses. These cover the core areas every woman should have support in: nervous system regulation, emotional healing, money mindset, body acceptance, trauma patterns, and rebuilding a relationship with yourself. You can work through them in your own time, at your own pace. Visit https://www.naziasaley.com/

And if you feel ready for deeper work, my one-on-one emotional healing sessions offer personalised, root-level healing, the kind that shifts long-held emotional and spiritual wounds. Spaces are limited and often move to a waiting list, but there are a few openings available right now. Send me a message if you’d like to book a session https://wa.me/27765715382


This Friday, when South Africa pauses for the standstill, pause with intention.

Pause for the women who are hurting quietly.
Pause for the ones who think silence is sabr.
Pause for the women who don’t recognise abuse because they were taught it is normal.
Pause for the girls who were told to shrink themselves.
Pause for the mothers who gave everything and forgot themselves in the process.
Pause for the survivors who are rebuilding their lives with courage that only Allah sees.

And if you are one of them, know this:

You are not alone.
You are not invisible.
You are not created to suffer in silence.

There is support.
There is healing.
There is change coming but only if we stop pretending everything is fine.

Let us stand together loudly, firmly, compassionately,for every woman whose voice was taken away.

May Allah protect our women, uplift them, and return them to themselves.
And may He remind every one of us that He created us with honour, not fear.

With love, strength, and dua,
Nazia


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