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The Way We’ve Been Thinking About Happiness…#43

 

Nazia Saley

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Newsletter 43
Soulful Serenity Community

As-salamu alaykum, dear beautiful soul,

Bismillah.

It’s interesting how much of our lives are quietly shaped by the idea of happiness… how often it sits in the background of what we’re working towards, what we’re hoping for, what we’re waiting to feel.

If you really pause and notice, you’ll see how easily we attach happiness to something outside of us… a moment that hasn’t happened yet, a situation that needs to change, a version of life that feels just slightly more complete than where we are now.

There’s always that quiet thought… when this happens, then I’ll feel okay… then I’ll be happy.

When I get married.
When I get the job.
When things finally settle down.

And so, without even realising it, happiness becomes something we are constantly moving towards… but never quite arriving at. It stays just ahead of us, tied to the next change, the next outcome, the next version of life.

What We Think We Want… and What We Actually Need

Because when you sit with it a little more honestly, you begin to realise… It’s not really happiness we’re searching for.

It’s peace.

It’s that sense of being settled within yourself… that quiet contentment that doesn’t disappear the moment life shifts.

And that doesn’t come from everything around you finally falling into place.

It comes from within.

It’s something that is built… slowly… through the way you live, the way you respond, the way you meet yourself in your everyday moments.

Because life was never meant to feel good all the time.

It was meant to be experienced.

The ease.
The discomfort.
The uncertainty.
The growth that comes with all of it.

And when we spend our lives trying to avoid anything that doesn’t feel like happiness… we end up disconnecting from something important within ourselves.

Where It Really Comes From

What’s often overlooked is that the things that bring us closer to that inner steadiness… are not always the things that feel comfortable in the moment.

It’s choosing to move your body when you don’t feel like it.
It’s pausing for dhikr, even when your mind feels restless.
It’s choosing gratitude… especially when your focus wants to go elsewhere.

These are small things.

Almost insignificant when you look at them individually.

But done consistently, they begin to shape something within you.

Because what we often call “happiness” is not something that comes from comfort…

It comes from the quiet discomfort of showing up for yourself.

Again and again.

What Ramadan Quietly Showed Us

And if you think back to Ramadan… you may have noticed something, even if you didn’t fully put it into words at the time.

There was a rhythm that formed.

For many of us, especially within the nightly mindful dhikr sessions, there was a repetition… a returning… day after day.

Dhikr

And it wasn’t anything complicated.

It was simple.
Consistent.
Intentional.

But through that repetition, something began to shift in a steady, almost quiet way.

You felt it in your state.
In your awareness.
In the way you were showing up within yourself.

And that’s when it became very clear to me…

It wasn’t Ramadan itself that created that shift.

It was what we were doing within it.

The consistency.
The structure.
The daily returning.

That was the training ground.

Why That Matters Now

And this is where I really sat with something honestly…

Because once Ramadan passes, that rhythm often fades.

Not because we don’t want to continue…
but because it’s difficult to hold that level of consistency on our own.

And that’s where this next step came from.

Not as something new… but as a continuation.

A space where that same simplicity, that same consistency, that same grounded way of showing up… can actually be lived beyond Ramadan.

That’s what led to The Grounded Woman.

A space for women who are ready to move beyond just wanting change… and into living it , through simple, consistent daily practices that begin to reshape how you feel, how you think, and how you move through your life.

It’s intentional.
It’s supportive.
And it’s for those who are truly ready to commit to themselves in a different way.

Which is why it’s kept small… and why there is an application process.

If you feel that readiness within you, you’re welcome to apply here:
https://forms.gle/smoUdBX33BbBr5WP9

I’ll be going through them personally, inshaAllah.

A Closing Reflection

Maybe happiness was never something you were meant to chase.

Maybe it was always something that quietly forms…

In the way you live.
In the way you return to yourself.
In the small, consistent choices that no one else sees.

Because that’s where your life shifts.

Not in big, dramatic moments…

But in the quiet decision to show up, differently each day.

And perhaps, instead of asking “when will I finally feel happy?”

You begin to ask:

“What am I choosing today?”

Because in that… everything begins to change.

With sincerity and dua

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